Covina, CA. Special to The Spoof. In a surprising move, California governor Gavin Newsom is considering appointing one of The Spoof's major contributors to replace Kamala Harris as that state's junior senator. This, despite press reports that a Latino politician will take Harris' seat.
"I'm white, male, old and disabled," wrote Ralph E. Shaffer, in an op-ed to be published in the daily press in the next few days. "I represent the most overlooked minority in the state, and we disabled elderly white guys need some representation in Washington."
A check of those who have held senate positions from California in the past 40 years shows that the last elected white male senator was over a third of a century ago. Since then, all newly-elected senators have been female, including one with a black and Indian ethnicity,
"At 90," Shaffer writes in his op-ed, "no one has to worry about term limits for me. I'll retire at the end of this short, fill-out term so I can spend more time with my great-great grandchildren. Two years in D.C. is all I can stand."
The remainder of the Harris term ends in 2022. An added plus for appointing Shaffer, is that there will be no incumbent in the 2022 race and, therefore, no advantage to any of the candidates,
Has he packed his bags for the trip east? "I travel light. And I won't be flying in this pandemic. I'll take a ride share from Craigslist, with door-to-door service. I'm in no hurry to reach the swamp."