How Trump Will Still Be Re-Elected

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 6 November 2020

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Not going anywhere!

Republican HQ, Washington, D. C. Special to The Spoof. A tweet by President Donald Trump, shortly after 5 p m today, revealed his latest move to overturn the apparent Biden victory and give himself another four years in the White House.

"We will demand a re-run of the election in four states: Pennsylvania, Georgia, Arizona and Nevada. Irregularities in the vote counting, refusal to allow our observers to watch the count, illegal counting of fraudulent ballots, counting of ballots that arrived late, and other violations of election law demand not just a recount, but a re-run of the election in those four states. We are filing an appeal to the Supreme Court immediately."

Political analysts at The Spoof are convinced the Supreme Court, by a vote of 6-3, will support the President's appeal, and will order a re-election, not a re-count, in those four states. The real basis for Trump's appeal has nothing to do with so-called election law violations. It is the large vote for the Libertarian party candidate, Jo Jorgensen, a vote that actually cost Trump the electoral vote of each of those four states. In all four, the Jorgensen vote was greater than the lead Biden had over Trump. Analysts expect Jorgensen to instruct Libertarian voters to cast their votes for Trump in the re-run, giving the President the electoral vote of all four states... and the presidency for four more years. In return, Libertarians will have a major role in policies during the President's second term.

If this sounds like a re-run of 2000 when Ralph Nader cost Al Gore the electoral votes from Florida, it is.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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