Donald Trump's pumpkin, Snoofkins, which he has been growing in the White House garden, is said to be suffering due to neglect and a lack of care.
Snoofkins, which has been steadily growing for Halloween, when eyes, a mouth and a giant hole will be carved into him, before his innards are painfully removed, to be replaced by a candle, is said to be small in stature, an unnatural orange, with wispy hair, and has been picked out by God himself for some special duty.
Trump said in a Tweet: 'I have the best things. The best words, the best wives, the best children, and the best pumpkin. It is fake news, put about by the losers at the Spoof that my Snoofkins is not living up to his full potential.'