"This Is Donald Trump Calling..."

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 9 September 2020

image for "This Is Donald Trump Calling..."
"Only I can fix everything!"

Donald Trump is short on cash, and he's making telephone calls soliciting money for his re-election campaign. It seems he raised $1.1 billion for his campaign, but now he’s down to a mere $8 million. There are two more months to go before the election, and $8 million is considered chicken feed.

It gets worse.

Contributors say: Hey, buddy, what happened to the 1.1 billion dollars we already gave you?

Well, there was Melania’s daily suntan spray, plus the Super Bowl ad competing with Mike Bloomberg's Super Bowl ad, those MAGA hats given away at campaign rallies cost, stuff like that.

“I may even have to use some of my own money for this campaign,” Trump whispered.

Desperate, Trump is soliciting contributions using robocalls to SPOOF NEWS writers asking for cash for his campaign. A SPOOF writer, checking voice mail and hearing his message, remarked: My, that voice sounds familiar.

Then after a replay, “HOLY COW! THAT’S DONALD TRUMP ASKING MEEEEE FOR MONEY? HOW’D HE GET MY NUMBER?

The message was deleted before the telephone could self-destruct. (They do say, anything Trump touches, dies.)

Not that SPOOF NEWS writers are bias or anything, but SPOOF NEWS is not anything like FOX News.

This means that Donald Trump is broke. He’s on his way out. He can’t pay the gas bill or Melania’s daily suntan spray. Also out are Mike Pence, William Barr, Jared, Ivanka, Rudy, Betsy, Kellyanne, and the rest of the gang, as well as a pale Melania Trump.

To quote Melania Trump’s jacket: I don’t care, do you?

As for Donald Trump: Sorry, you got the wrong number!

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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