In breaking news, United States President Donald J Trump has appealed to comic book hero Superman to help end the violence on the streets of Portland and Kinosha. Mr Trump said that, more than ever, the people of America looked to the "Man of Steel" to bring order and normality to the communities suffering under the weight of unruly lawlessness and chaos.
White House officials are highly embarrassed by Mr Trump's behaviour, and haven't the nerve to tell him that Superman doesn't exist in the real world. They may be forced to come up with some contingency, such as paying a Hollywood actor to perform the role just to please the President.
Mr Trump has only weeks left before facing the nation in the Presidential election. He must get over this bump first, if he is to win another term.