Memorials Proposed for the Late President Trump

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 30 July 2020

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Washington, D. C. A contrite Woof Blister reporting for SOP - Spoof On Politics. [Dateline blurred, but probably some years from now.] Solely Exclusive to The Spoof. This reporter, often a vocal and often inane critic of President Donald J. Trump, has surprisingly been allowed to see a proposed list of memorials planned to commemorate the legacy of the 45th president of these once again United States. Here is a short list of the intended memorials:

* Build a new public school, with taxpayer money, designated as the Donald J. Trump Leadership Academy...and promptly privatize it.

* As part of the renaming phobia, the General Grant tree will now be the President Trump sequoia... and will be sold to a logging company.

* All national forests in California will be lumped into one big Donald Trump National Forest... then thinned out by that same logging company to better manage the state's fire-prone timber.

* Complete the Donald J. Trump Border Wall, from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific, by using funds currently allocated for housing already crowded interned migrants.

* Erect a statue of Trump holding Confederate and Union flags because "there were good people on both sides."

* The building housing the U. S. Postal Service in D.C. will now be known as a "Trump Tower" as the USPS is virtually given to Jeff Bezos' Amazon. [That might cause Trump to turn over in his sarcophagus.]

* Inter Trump in the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in memory of his unknown military service during the Vietnam War. He also gets a posthumous Purple Heart for that bonespur or whatever.

Readers of The Spoof are encouraged to conjure up additional Trump Memorials.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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