Napoleon Trump's Final 100 Days

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 25 July 2020

Waterloo, Iowa. Woof Blister reporting for SOP - Spoof on Politics. The final 100 days of the Trump administration before the 2020 election begins today here in Waterloo, where it all began some three and a half years ago. Trump is scheduled to address a massive rally, but with the virus erupting in this state, attendance is likely to be near nil.

Trump has stated forcefully that he will not stay in the U.S. if his opponent is declared the victor in a rigged election. He has already built a Trump hotel, complete with 18-hole golf course, on the island of Elbe, most of which he already owns. Air Force One is scheduled to fly him to Elbe on the Wednesday following the election, should he lose, as is expected.

What happens after Elbe is speculation. One scenario has him returning before his term expires with intent to promote generals and admirals loyal to him, putting them in charge of all strategic military units needed to maintain himself in power after Jan.20.

A second scenario involves his purchase of the island of St. Helena as a permanent residence after the conservative Supreme Court refuses to uphold his claim to a second term, following Joe Biden's victory. He has already made a down payment on St. Helena using money intended for construction of his border wall. He justified that with his belief that "As president, I can do anything I want."

A final possibility is that Trump will resign as president the day after the election, advancing vice president Pence to the presidency, with the latter giving Trump a pardon for all possible crimes charged to him during his presidency. "If Ford could do that for Nixon, so can Pence," Trump reportedly told aides.

Actually, Trump will have nearly 80 days remaining in his term when the 100 days expire on election day. Napoleon didn't have that luxury.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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