Man Dying From Coronavirus Spends Final Day Negotiating With Health Insurance Provider

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Saturday, 11 April 2020

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A man riddled with the coronavirus who had spent his final hours arguing with his Health Insurance provider trying to ascertain if he was covered or not, has succumbed to the illness.

Mike Smith, 56, woke up with a tickly sore throat and cough, despite having self-isolated for 14 days. Fearing the worst he decided he would attend his nearest hospital for assistance; however, before placing any call to first responders, he tried to contact his insurance provider to check that he was 'in-network.'

His wife Joan explains what happened next: "Well, he called the insurance company at eight o'clock in the morning, and was subsequently placed on hold for an hour. Then he was eventually put through to an automated system; this took him another hour to navigate, due to the seventy-three questions he was asked and required to punch answers to, into his phone. By eleven he was put through to a man named 'Dave', who had an Indian accent. Dave's voice was muffled and hard to understand. His accent was that thick, after another 45 minutes, Mike asked to be transferred to a supervisor. It was then the phone went dead."

Composing herself, the forlorn widow continued "Then began the whole process again, but after two hours of pacing up and down the living room with the phone to his ear and then on speakerphone, he spoke to a representative based in Iowa." Wiping away tears, Joan continued, "he was then placed on hold again and transferred back to 'Dave' with the Indian accent. It was then that he collapsed and died. After being on the phone for EIGHT hours non-stop!"

Mike's insurance company was invited to comment, but, after six hours on hold, we just gave up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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