Where Are The Coronavirus Tests For US Taxpayers?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 15 March 2020

image for Where Are The Coronavirus Tests For US Taxpayers?
Only hope is eating very, very hot chillies to kill the coronavirus.

Where are any coronavirus tests for US taxpayers? Huh? Even Heidi Klum can’t get tested and, she’s at home feeling sick and feverish. Has Ivanka been tested? Has anyone seen Melania lately? Is she under quarantine or lockdown?

The former world superpower, called the United States of America, appears to have been kidnapped and held hostage by the incompetent Trump presidency. His voiceless coconspirators are frightened Republican elected members of the House and Senate. They seem oblivious to the wrecking-ball Trump has taken to the taxpayers of the United States. Forgotten point: Taxpayers pay their salary, not Trump.

Mitch McConnell just gave the Senate the weekend off. Why? The US is in a declared pandemic. Store shelves are empty. People are secluded at home. If the Senate can take a weekend off during a national pandemic, maybe the Senate isn't a necessary part of the government?

Who knows what’s going on in North Korea? Does Russia have any coronavirus cases? Is Trump phoning Ukraine about coronavirus? There are cases in Turkey. Saudi Arabia also has cases.

Italy is in lockdown. Italians are singing from their windows to express their freedom. Spain has imposed a nationwide lockdown. Trump says no one can fly to England or Ireland.

When South Korea, (not to, in any way, hint at casting aspersions about the nation) can manage to test 10,000 per day, but Oregon State is given only 40 test kits, and tests 10 people per day, and Heidi Klum can’t get tested, what does the United States not know that South Korea knows?

Is the failure of the Trump administration in handling the coronavirus spread all due to dismantling the White House Pandemic Response team? And did Trump dismantle it just because the team was formed by President Barack Obama?

Trump also did away with Obama’s Clean Water Rule. Will citizens soon have to worry about catching a case of typhoid, cholera, malaria, or polio?

It may be time for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin impeachment hearings again. This time, however, Trump’s failure and incompetence is killing citizens. Hopefully, not Heidi Klum.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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