Senate, Renamed Reichstag, Gives Trump Unlimited Power, Suspends Presidential Election Indefinitely

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 19 February 2020

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Capitol Hill, Washington D. C. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. Having yesterday declared himself to be the nation's chief law enforcement officer, Donald Trump today was given by a rump session of the U. S. Senate the unlimited power to rule by executive decree. The 52 senators present, all Republicans, voted unanimously for this embellishment of executive authority, essentially confirming Trump's claim that he could do anything he wanted to under Article II of the Constitution.

One Republican was absent. Mitt Romney said he was not informed of the special session but that he would not have attended had he been invited. Apparently none of the Democratic senators were informed of the meeting either. In a separate action, the Senate declared Romney' seat vacant.

Senator Susan Collins of Maine, who during the impeachment trial remarked that Trump had learned his lesson, enthusiastically voted for the president's right to rule by decree, saying his recent pardons for bribers, junk bond racketeers, governors selling senate seats and crooked cops demonstrates his new-found integrity.

Lamarr Alexander, retiring senator from Tennessee, was pleased that the new power for the chief executive guarantees that his actions will now be "appropriate," in contrast to what he did in the Ukraine fiasco.

The grant of the power to rule by decree virtually displaces the entire congress. The House was completely ignored in this action and the Senate will function only as a ceremonial body in the future.

The suspension of the presidential election included a clause whereby the president could set a date sometime in the future for an election, but he was not bound to do so. The presidential term limit of two terms, while technically still in place, need not be honored during the suspension, with the second term extended indefinitely.

As to the renaming of the Senate as the Reich stag, Mitch McConnell issued a statement praising the move as one recognizing the need for an all powerful autocrat - he initially said dictator - whose rule should not be hampered by a nit-picking congress. "This is America, and in a democracy there is no need to hamstring the chief executive."

As in the stolen election of 2000, there are no protesters in the streets demanding the ouster of the Senate or the president. The Supreme Court issued an on-the-spot 5-4 ruling that the Senate's action was legal and the president could do whatever he wants to do.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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