Push Comes to Shove in Confidence and Makes a Request

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 28 October 2019

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It wasn't easy for Push to ask a favor of Shove, of whom he generally steers clear.

Not wanting to draw attention to a potentially awkward situation, Push came to Shove in confidence and requested a favor.

"I know you need your space, but if you don't mind easing up a little with regard to tiny pink items in the neck area, it would help me out a great deal," said Push.

Momentarily nonplussed, Shove quickly put two and two together and realized Push was referring to precription pills. He agreed not to force them down people's throats and to refrain from interfering in Push's business transactions. He commented that he knew that Push dealt with "some sketchy characters", and that he was more than happy to steer clear.

At that point, however, Push took offense at what he claimed to be Shove's condescending tone. Indignant, he proceeded to make some less-than-generous remarks as to Shove's alleged lack of tact.

While confident that he could take Push, Shove had reached his limit. He took it upon himself to deescalate the interaction, and simply walked away, without even an additional nudge.

"You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to," he said. "When push comes to shove, sometimes it's best to walk away. It was the right thing to do under the circumstances."

He added, "And I'll do it again, if it comes to that. Just try me."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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