"Trade Trump for Zelensky" Americans Demand after Watching Ukraine President on TV

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 26 September 2019

image for "Trade Trump for Zelensky" Americans Demand after Watching Ukraine President on TV
Volodymyr Zelensky, just after his morning spit-and-polish.

The United Nations. NYC. The brightest star in US presidential politics today is not even an American. The overwhelming choice of American voters in a poll taken after Volodymyr Zelensky dominated the press conference with Donald Trump is... Zelensky, on either party's ticket.

The suave, presidential-looking young Ukrainian's background as a TV, movie and stage star overwhelmed the awkward, stumbling Trump in a live broadcast on nearly every network channel in America. His stage presence commanded attention, and Zelensky's impeccable English put our own president to shame.

While Trump welcomes corruption as a means of gaining votes, Zelensky publicly denounces it. Both left and right in US politics find him an unbeatable candidate, on either major party ticket. He won the presidency of his country with over 70% of the vote in April.

Regrettably, Zelensky cannot serve as US president, barred by a constitutional requirement regarding location of birth, the same clause that stopped the Arnold Schwarzenegger presidential boom a few years ago. There is some hope, however, that, after his presidential term, Zelensky will move to the US, and serve in the Senate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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