Shapeless House Dress Garment of Choice for Many American Women

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 2 November 2019

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Women appreciate the shapeless house dress for its versatility.

Increasingly edging out workout clothes and sweatpants, the shapeless house dress has become the fashion garment of choice for American women who have had enough of fitted attire.

"They're so easy," said Anna Partridge of Nashville, Tennessee, who long ago abandoned any clothing that buttons or zips. "Elastic waistbands are great as far as they go, but no waistband is an even more comfortable option. And dresses make me feel so much more feminine than yoga pants."

Partridge added that the fact that she does not actually do yoga did not factor into her decision to stop wearing yoga pants. "No one actually does yoga," she explained. "'Yoga pants' is more of a hypothetical term."

Like Partridge, many modern-day, life-sized women have come to appreciate the shapeless house dress for its versatility and suitability for everything from lounging on the couch watching television, to a quick outing to the grocery store for some snacks.

Samantha Grove of Birmingham, Alabama, says that she began wearing the shapeless house dress at the beach, as a bathing suit cover-up, but it wasn't long before she adopted it as her go-to garment for all of everyday life.

"It enables me not to think about my body at all, which is so freeing," said Grove, who no longer spends much time at the beach due to skin cancer concerns and a strained back muscle. And in those rare instances when she does venture outside into the Alabama sunshine, she finds the house dress refreshingly unconfining and especially enjoys the air flow it allows between her sweaty thighs.

Indeed, say fashion experts, the shapeless house dress has become so popular for women that a similar garment for leisure-focused men seeking a more fashionable alternative to sweatpants and tracksuits is reportedly in the works.

"We're thinking something along the lines of a kilt, but with full body coverage," said Aaron Freemont of men's clothing company R-Laxx. "And maybe a little lower key on the plaid. Keep an eye out, guys!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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