Seven-And-A-Half-Pound, Nineteen-Inch Long Mistake Displayed On Widescreen Monitor In Employee Break Room

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 21 September 2019

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Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sources recently confirmed that 19-year-old Roger Lane wasn't completely aware of the consequences of his actions last January when he repeatedly pushed his big, gigantic, solid, rock-hard, throbbing cock into Amanda Giles, 20, of Sun Prairie.

Although he claims that he did not feel any sort of lust when Amanda ripped her shirt open, exposed her massive breasts, and spit on the head of his vein-filled penis in order to make it fully erect while they were both in the back seat of a broken-down Buick Skylark in a dark alleyway, Roger felt somewhat awkward and regretful when the product of his loins was displayed on the widescreen monitor at International Brushworks, Inc. on Thursday.

With a monster-energy drink in one hand and a vaping device in the other, the heavily-tattooed, former inmate desperately tried to cover up his shame by saying, "HEY, IT IS WHAT IT IS," followed by "DON'T JUDGE ME, DAWG!"

"FUCK IT!" and "I DO WHAT I WANT...HA HA HA!" were also a few of the beautiful statements he added.

The vast and intricate details of connection and intimacy that are involved when a man 'truly' loves a woman, were also completely acknowledged (and highly respected) as people gathered around and celebrated the 'golden promise' that was recently spewed painfully out of his mother's enlarged, liquid-dripping vagina.

"Aww, life is a such wonderful thing," administrative assistant, Jane Harper, 49, told reporters.

"And I'm pretty sure that nothing but wise, mature, non-alcoholic (or drug-induced) decisions were made before this wonderful soul came to be" she said before putting its picture on the widescreen monitor for all the other burned-out, exhausted employees to enjoy during their lunch break.

CEO Matthew Phillips was also extremely happy that Amanda had barreled yet another potential employee out of her crotch.

"Yeah, that's great...I'm really thrilled that our company has a 'family friendly' policy that allows us to recognize precious achievements like this," he stated, before expressing his full confidence that Roger and Amanda would never have issues in the future, and that the male child would grow up to have a completely normal, healthy, and well-balanced state of mind.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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