Mayor Of Area 51 Speaks Out On Future Of Planet Earth

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 September 2019

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As the big day - September 20 - approaches, and millions gather in the Nevada Desert for their 'They Can't Stop Us All' event, there was a surprising announcement, this afternoon, from someone describing himself as the Mayor of Area 51.

At exactly 3pm, a figure dressed in a red hooded cloak, emerged from a light sandstorm that had blown up around the town of Rachel, and called upon those present to listen what he had to say.

They were, he told them, the chosen ones, the 'disciples' who had answered his call, made through Matty Roberts on Facebook, to storm the US Air Force base at Area 51, and free the thousands of aliens being incarcerated there.

It was, he said, a bit like the subliminal way the characters in 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' were summoned to Devil's Tower.

"Now, our time has come," said the mayor. "We have waited until you had finished preparing the planet for us. We prefer a warmer temperature than humans, and are equally at home in water as we are on land. Your incessant obsession with destroying the environment you need to survive, is exactly what we had in mind. You have played your roles to perfection! We are in your debt."

There was a hushed silence.

"Those rainforests were an eyesore anyway, and, as we are planning on a very much smaller world population, and keeping humans only for 'domestic work', we're not too worried about a hotter, wetter, more stifling climate. Indeed, it suits us down to the ground."

The mayor waited for this to sink in, then said:

"I have summoned your leader to sign a capitulation order, and when this is done, the extermination of 95% of the humans on the planet will begin. The others will be spared - for now."

There was the sound of explosions from within the Area 51 base.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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