2020 Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris Starts Free Catering Service

Written by Gene Morrison

Sunday, 8 September 2019

image for 2020 Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris Starts Free Catering Service
This is one of the many food trucks that Senator Harris can use on her quest to deliver food to Americans

In the first of the Democratic debates, Senator and 2020 Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris reminded the Democrats on stage that "Americans don't want to see a food fight; they want us to put food on their table!" (Note that the semicolon was not in Kamala Harris' original verbal statement, but was added to communicate the fact that there are two independent clauses in the same sentence.)


Now, Senator Harris is making history as a politician that is making good on her promise, and she is personally delivering three meals a day to every American starting next year. Her supporters are thrilled to try Harris' cooking, but some are moderately surprised by the literal interpretation that Harris put on her own statement.


One supporter remarks, "When Senator Harris said that she would put food on our table, I thought that she meant that she would make it more economically feasible for us to obtain what we need, but I guess her act of personally delivering my food everyday will make things easier for me."


Still, some opponents of the senator's plan have their doubts. A random person that was busy trying to hack into the United States government's database explained to me that, "The logistics of Harris' plan are flawed. How can one person deliver three meals a day to over three hundred million people who live an entire continent apart? Kamala's personal delivery system is not practical by any means."


Another speaker who would like to remain anonymous because he does not want to legitimize any media outlet said, "Kamala Harris' plan is a complete disaster, it's really bad folks. This plan is going to fail... bigly."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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