Mitt Romney's Presidential Camaign Song, Composed Before He Entered Race

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 23 August 2019

Salt Lake City, Utah. As announced in The Spoof yesterday, Mitt Romney will challenge Donald Trump in the Republican primaries. His campaign song had been written even before he announced his candidacy.

In a scathing Washington Post op-ed attack on President Donald Trump, freshman senator and former Republican presidential candidate, Romney, made clear that he's the party's only alternative to Trump in the 2020 primaries.

While Mitt has unequivocally denied that he will be a candidate for the presidency, how can he explain the secretly recorded 2020 campaign song, "Mitt," that has been leaked to The Spoof? According to our sources, composer Jerry Herman, a liberal Democrat whose song "Hello, Dolly" was re-written as "Hello, Lyndon" for the 1964 Democratic convention, is so outraged by the arrogance of Trump that he has agreed to let his song "Mame" be parodied as "Mitt" for Romney's campaign.

The song has never been heard outside the recording studio, and The Spoof presents it here, exclusively, for its first public performance. The lyricist and musicians remain anonymous, but the sound engineer is under contract to Smiley Cypress, and the vocalist is reportedly with a major Cucamonga opera company. Listen for the biting, anti-Trump line, "Make a sitting president unsit." The lyrics reflect Mitt's belief that the economy will tank before he formally enters the race.

Mitt -- the song!

Entitled "Mitt," the official premier performance is scheduled for the day Romney announces his candidacy. It will be broadcast via satellite from coast to coast.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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