Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax

Written by Mike Peril

Friday, 10 June 2016

image for Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax
Only one of the Bigoted Moments Planned by Trump and his Producers

Washington, DC: In a stunning turn of events, Donald Trump, the presumed presidential nominee for the Republican Party, declined the nomination altogether, and announced that his entire race to the White House was for a reality TV project. The premise of the show was to see how far the nation would go to allow a bigot to become a major party candidate.

"At first I was going to run as a Democrat, but the producers convinced me that I could go farther as a Republican. None of us dreamed that it would be this big," stated Trump.

Only Corey Lewandowski and a handful of executive producers for the show were part of the ruse.

"Look, Hillary's a great gal, I think she'll be a great President. Our time has come to have a woman president," noted Trump in his endorsement of Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

"And I had faith in my country that I could not win the primary season. But state after state, I won and won. Big! Made no sense given the statements I was making. I admit it got bigger than us. My producers spent much more money on this campaign than was budgeted, and I obviously have some great acting chops!"

Trump specifically cited to his stance against Mexicans and Muslims as "pushing the envelop" to get a final boot so that he could "come clean". But, voters remained loyal, and the Republican Party continued to support him.

Trump found it incredible that the GOP support continued even after calling women "pigs", banning Muslims from the country, and targeting a Federal judge of Mexican descent. Trump laughed at the fact that he got away with eating tacos to point out his love for Hispanics and calling a black supporter "his African American."

Trump added, "Sarah Palin was easy, and Christie was a pushover, but when I got the endorsements from the likes of Senator McCain, House Speaker Ryan, and Majority Leader McConnell, I grew more and more despondent. These are distinguished leaders and our nation deserves better!"

With the GOP nomination up for grabs, Mitt Romney, whose leadership against Trump seemed to be a one man show, is expected to capture the nomination. "It is time to reform the Republican Party, to get back to our Christian conservative values, and to change leadership," stated Romney. Romney is expected to select Jeb Bush as his running mate.

The reality TV show is currently in post-production and will air as a miniseries beginning in January 2017, on Inauguration Day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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