Homeless Problem Solved! Soros Buys Deserted Island

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 22 August 2019

Los Angeles, CA. Multi-billionaire George Soros, financier of leftist causes, has surprised his far right critics by purchasing an island to rid Los Angeles of 40,000 homeless residents who've been camping under freeway overpasses and in the Los Angeles River. Soros announced that all the city's homeless would be moved to the large but uninhabited San Miguel island off the Southern California coast.

In a secret deal negotiated with the Trump administration, and with the reluctant approval of the Navy and the National Park Service, Soros paid $25 million for San Miguel, about 30 miles from the closest port, Santa Barbara.

San Miguel is noted for an abundance of fish, and was once the home of a large livestock ranch. The soil is suitable for vegetable crops but the big problem will be an adequate water supply for the tens of thousands of newer residents. Soros will fund a desalinization plant to provide adequate drinking water.

The big question is: Will any of the city's homeless go there? The far right is willing to send them all, even against their will. Soros, believing that on the island, new residents will form a commune and all become socialists, is apparently willing for a forced migration of those who resist.

The ACLU, joined by environmental groups that fear the destruction of the flora and fauna by irresponsible homeless settlers, has filed a suit to block the sale and the forced migration. The city's homeowners, dubbing themselves "NIMBYs," have rallied to Soros' side, happy to have the homeless go anywhere but "Not In My Back Yard."

A court decision is not expected soon. In the meantime, it is reported that a hundred thousand homeless from across the country are headed for Los Angeles.

Republicans are urging Soros to move to L. A. and run for mayor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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