Army of Bikers with AR-15’s Sent by Trump to Conquer Greenland Forced to Return After Arctic Ice Disappears

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

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Trump Biker Army Heading to Greenland

Baffin Island - After Denmark refused to sell Greenland to the United States, and the U.S. Army decided to disobey Trump's order to invade the immense island in response, a large army of bikers loyal to the President left to cross Canada onto the icy island and take it by force, but they were turned away when it was discovered that the Arctic was no longer covered in ice.

Trump had tweeted to the bikers before they left Washington that there would be "plenty of ice" to use as a land bridge to Greenland and that "global warming and reports of the disappearance of the Arctic ice shelf are fake news".

The bikers were also led to believe by Trump that there were plenty of "seals, walruses, penguins, polar bears and other so-called endangered species" that could be "hunted and killed for food during the journey", but it turned out their numbers had dwindled thanks to climate change.

"Trump said he would personally lead us, but was unable to go due to the bone spurs", said one disappointed biker.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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