Pope Raises $$$s Selling Carbon Offset Indulgences

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

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The Pope an old hand at planting trees and bushes to save the planet

Rome, Italy - The Pope is reportedly making a bomb on the Vatican website through selling carbon offset indulgences to jet-setting eco celebs.

These include voluntary donations to a holy carbon capture fund which guarantees safe RIPs to heaven in exchange for a hefty lump sum.

The news of this venture comes amid rival reports that portly septugenarian Brit crooner Elton John is renting out his gas-guzzling 10-seater Gulfstream.

In exchange, clients drop a thick wedge on the singer’s woodland charity fund which aims to reforest huge swathes of Great Britain.

These are located mostly on John’s vast landfill estates.

This morning, a Vatican Institute of Religious Perks spokesperson denied the Pope had contracted out parts of his indulgence business nor retained anyone on a 25% bung.

Readers planning their annual pilgrimages are welcome to offset any environmental worries by donating to the Spoof website’s very own carbon capture scheme.

Click here to empty your wallet to offset those conscience-based guilt trips.

You might just end up saving the planet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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