Woman Tried To Teach An Old Dog A New Trick

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 25 August 2019

image for Woman Tried To Teach An Old Dog A New Trick
Sammy, the one-trick pony dog thingy

A woman in New York who habitually refuses to conform to accepted ways of doing things, bucked another trend this morning whilst out for a walk with Sammy, her old pet labrador.

Janice Stevens, 41, was exercising Sammy, 15, with a gentle stroll through Central Park, when she had an idea. Reminded of the old adage that:

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks",

she decided to teach an old dog a new trick.

Bearing in mind that Sammy has never learnt any tricks in his entire doggy life, Janice aimed low. She saw a stick, and threw it a short distance, but Sammy merely sniffed it and sat down.

Next, she put her hands up in a kind of 'begging' pose, and tried to show Sammy how to ask for things. This, too, failed. Sammy looked nonplussed.

Finally, Janice held out her hand, and reached for Sammy''s paw, in order that she might teach him to 'shake hands'. This, too, was a singular failure, as Sammy allowed his paw to fall to the ground, unaware of his owner's intention.

Bewildered, Janice told us later:

"He's a lovely old thing, but I had to admit defeat. I suppose I'll just have to make do with the one good trick that he does know!"

as Sammy lovingly nuzzled at Janice's crotch.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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