NYC Subway Trains Fitted With Poor Doors For Half-Price MetroCard Holders

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 23 August 2019

image for NYC Subway Trains Fitted With Poor Doors For Half-Price MetroCard Holders
Five-and-dime punters know their place via the poor-door scheme

New York City, NY - (Cheapskates): Low income New Yorkers traveling on half-price MetroCards will soon be herded into using newly-installed subway train poor doors, according to a City Hole press release.

The roll-out of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s mass-transit technological brainchild will see up to 800,000 poverty-line residents access the City’s swanky new subway trains via ‘smart door’ contactless sensors.

These are mostly located at the rear end of trains where NYPD-friendly facial-recognition electronic turnstiles operate during peak travel times.

Commenting on this latest technological development, the Spoof website’s travel correspondent described how advances in cyber electronics ensured anyone looking like a ‘five-and-dime punter’ would easily know their place on the NYC mass-transit system.

30-day unlimited half-price travel cards are available here for $100.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot