Corporate Visitors Pleased By "Wet Garbage And Poop" Smell Coming From Northeast Section Of Factory

Written by Wesley Janson

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

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It was the smell of profit - CEO Brad Johnston

Greensboro, North Carolina. Several corporate visitors claimed they were extremely pleased when their senses were overwhelmed by an odor containing a unique combination of "wet garbage and poop" last Monday during a routine inspection of a plant associated with Universal Manufacturing, Inc.

Much to the delight of managers and production supervisors, the tantalizing aroma of liquid feces and soggy piles of waste material filled the entire main floor of the plant after a forklift driver accidentally opened one of the truck loading doors located on the northeast corner of the building.

Because the company produces composite decking boards, wood products, and hardwood flooring, CEO Brad Johnston stated that the inescapable stench was completely natural before he encouraged other members of the corporate team to breathe in as much of it as they possibly could.

"It was the smell of profit," he told reporters after the corporate tour.

"This is a 'working factory' that operates all day and all night with absolutely no hesitation in the production process; therefore, it's completely natural that the entire place will occasionally smell like old, urine-soaked garbage as well as a heavily used employee toilet that has poop splattered all over it." he added.

Lead Financial Analyst Jill Becker claims she had to fight back tears as the heart-stopping, stomach-twisting odor (constantly flowing in from an outside Industrial Waste Management Bin) brought back pleasant memories of her childhood years growing up on a farm in Wisconsin, and General Manager Frank Keyes said that only a productive factory would smell that way.

After taking in the "fragrance of profit" as much as they possibly could, the corporate inspection team was even further pleased to hear that the "burned popcorn and dead animal" smell they encountered upon entering the plant was due to a malfunctioning pellet mill.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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