Written by Wesley Janson

Thursday, 11 April 2019

image for Middle Class Parents Glad Their Son Is Dropping Out Of College To Become A Correctional Officer In Order To Support Pregnant Girlfriend

Madison, Wisconsin. Thomas and Joanna Harper expressed nothing but sheer joy and profound happiness last Thursday when they learned that their son Brad, 22, is dropping out of UW-Madison in order to become a correctional officer after getting 21-year-old Amanda Kreiss pregnant.

Unconcerned about the significant loads of money for tuition and living expenses they have dished out over the past few years, the Harpers were delighted to hear that Brad will no longer be pursuing his degree in Business Administration for the simple reason that he forgot to put a condom on while hideously drunk in the back seat of Amanda's car.

Joanna Harper, an Adult Education Teacher in the Dane County area, applauded the fact that her son is accepting responsibility for his actions by permanently abandoning his university studies in order to take a job that pays 16.65 per hour, and Thomas Harper, a reverend at a conservative Lutheran church, celebrated the inescapable reality that he will soon be a grandfather.

Both parents continually offer nothing but kind words of support and encouragement as Brad prepares to go through 7 weeks of training at the Department of Corrections Academy in his desperate need to earn a living.

Although they have never met or even heard of Brad, Amanda's parents, Robert and Jane Kreiss, also fought back tears of joy when they learned that their daughter is dropping her studies in Economics & Finance in order to support the life growing inside of her.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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