Jeff Bezos Ex-wife "Satisfied" With Divorce Settlement

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 5 April 2019

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The fruit that grows on the Bezos Tree

It's been reported that Amazon boss, Jeff Bezos, has finalized his divorce settlement, and has agreed to pay his ex-wife, Mackenzie, a staggering $35billion.

She has said she is "satisfied".

Speaking at her new home, the former Mrs Bezos said:

"Well, you know, $35billion is $35billion, and not to be sniffed-at, so, I suppose, I'll just have totry and get by on it."

It's the biggest divorce settlement ever. By far.

Ex-Bezos:

"Ahh! You say that, but things aren't cheap! I've still got to eat and clothe myself, keep my house clean and tidy, have my hair done, and feed and clothe our four kids, and keep them entertained. Like I said, it's something to be going on with, but there are so many things that come along, that I'm going to have to be very prudent with the way I spend the money."

Mackenzie has also had to give up her lucrative interests in the Washington Post and Blue Origin, the space travel company. She said:

"Yeah, that's going to hurt, all that lost income, but, I suppose I'm just going to have to cut my cloth accordingly and try to make ends meet."

Asked if she wasn't exaggerating just a little bit, she said:

"Certainly not! Money doesn't grow on trees you know!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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