L. A.'s Homeless Flea

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 1 March 2019

Los Angeles. Special to The Spoof. Yesterday's disturbing Spoof headline - "Homeless Flee L. A." - is matched today by an equally tragic tale - "L. A.'s Homeless Flea."

The L. A. city council's newly-adopted ordinance banning public performances by non-domesticated animals in circuses, carnivals, and other similar profit-making enterprises, has had unanticipated consequences. "Frank's Flea Circus," which arrived in town the day the ordinance took effect, has had to disband, leaving Frank's headliner, Flora, homeless when Frank was forced to turn her out.

The little vermin had starred for Frank for five years, with visions of retirement on a fat tabby cat that accompanied the flea circus around the country. But financially strapped when he arrived in L. A., and expecting great profits from the circus's two-week run, Frank had to exterminate all his troupe except Flora. Desperately, Frank and Flora undertook a housing search for his star.

Since the flea circus had rented a cheap hall near Skid Row, Frank took Flora to a homeless encampment under the 9th street freeway overpass. He unceremoniously released her from the small box that had been her home since she jumped off a dog to join the circus in Sheboygan. Flora immediately found a warm home on the arm of Tumbler, who seemed to be the spokesman for the human homeless.

Unfortunately, Tumbler accurately landed a sharp slap when Flora, who hadn't eaten for two days, began to draw blood. But now Flora won't have to worry about her next meal or a bed for the night.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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