School district bans 'purple face' after racist incident

Funny story written by Purple Girl

Friday, 12 July 2019

image for School district bans 'purple face' after racist incident
This student was asked to remove racist space alien makeup or face suspension.

A school district is forbidding students from painting their faces completely purple or green after a racist incident where most of the students painted themselves purple.

On High School Prank Day at New Horizons High, nearly the entire student body and even some of the faculty showed up at school wearing purple makeup and even wearing prosthetic "alien" appendages such as antennae, eyestalks, and tentacles. The day went rather uneventfully, other than to note that students got along with each other better. There were no fistfights to break up, no shouting incidents, and no reports of bullying.

According to a student, Jason Stilton, "It was a really fun day! It was out of this world!"

However, Boring County's School Superintendent, Dr. Joanne Jessenstein, happened to visit the school to drop off materials for the principal. She was shocked at what she saw.

"I saw an entire student body making fun of a whole race of people," says Jessenstein. "Even though I've never seen a Purple person before, I'd never think to make fun of them or appropriate their wardrobe and skin color. So something had to be done about this."

A school board spokestranny, Terry Genderless, apologized on behalf of the school, saying that zie apologizes to any visitors or residents from outer space who might be offended by such racist appropriation.

Meanwhile, on Planet Purplonia, a news commentator, Oigala Xigou, reports, "In an unusual twist, Earthlings are banning students in their schools from looking like Purplonians and Lodonians because we might be offended. Speaking for most of us, we are actually flattered. Personally, I'm more offended that there are Earthlings who don't want folks who look like us around."

New Horizon students are weighing in as well. According to Bobby Jenkins, "I had a plum good time on Prank Day. Leave it to school faculty to ruin a good thing. Without fun things to do like that, I might as well have sex and shoot dope with my boyfriend. The nurse's office will give us all the condoms and clean needles that we want."

Another student, LaTishia Jackson says, "I can't see what the problem was. There was no real racism. Sure, I got called a 'pligger' by a few students, but I called them one back, and we all laughed it off. At lunch, nobody told me to go sit with my own kind. I wish we could always get to be Purple, but the superintendent is a maroon."

At any rate, it seems that Boring County school administrators have managed to alienate New Horizon's student body, at least more than they had recently alienated themselves.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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