Manic Depressive Disorder Blamed For Woman Pulling Out Man's Heart And Ripping His Face Off

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Friday, 18 January 2019

image for Manic Depressive Disorder Blamed For Woman Pulling Out Man's Heart And Ripping His Face Off

Portage County, Wisconsin. Jennifer Crowley, 27, stuck her claws into 25-year-old Brad Williams last Sunday, pulled his heart completely out of his chest, and then ripped his face off.

Mr. Williams, a nice young man who felt a slight attraction to Jennifer, didn't expect that she would use his own personal weaknesses and fears against him before she tore right through his helpless soul like a Raging Behemoth from Hell.

After coldly calculating everything that was going to hurt him, telling him that she had a boyfriend who was better than he was, and pausing for a moment to enjoy his emotional pain, Jennifer then reached into his chest, grabbed the small 'beating thing' that he called a heart, and crushed it with her cold hands.

Because her internal rage wasn't finished yet, she then grabbed a land-line phone off the wall and beat him severely with it before pulling his face off of his head.

Suffering and weeping with blood spurting all over the place as it was happening, Brad uttered a pathetic prayer to God desperately asking him for help, before he fell over dead.

Ms. Crowley told sympathetic and understanding reporters, on Wednesday, that she has manic-depressive disorder, which causes her to occasionally do things like that.

On Thursday, she took a 'selfie' and posted it on Facebook. Everybody liked it, and admired just how much of a beautiful person she is.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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