Iowa. Brad Marten, a 21-year-old college student at St. Catherine's University, was desperately trying to finish his 5-page academic paper on 'Industrial Feminism During The Early 20th Century' when a three-eyed, winged leprechaun flew into his dorm room last Tuesday.
Brad, who had signed up for the 'January Term' at St. Catherine's, was under incredible pressure to complete a 300-level 'writing emphasis' history course, which had been compacted into a month-long study.
As Brad was having a nervous breakdown attempting to finalize the paper that was due the next morning, the leprechaun flew into his room and started criticizing his work.
After telling him that his thesis statement lacked parallel structure, that his academic argument did not properly correspond to the topic sentences in each of his paragraphs, and that he had not followed proper MLA documentation style, the flying leprechaun then ranted incessantly about all of the grammar mistakes he had made on pages 2 and 3, before further pointing out that the conclusion of the paper had not adequately re-summarized the ideas stated in the introductory paragraph.
When the leprechaun started peeing all over his face and his paper, Brad left his room and drove away in total frustration.
Finding solace in a small hiking area near the campus, Mr. Marten took a small walk in order to clear his mind before he was captured by an 8-foot tall, hairy creature who told him that he was a lousy history student before pulling his pants down, pushing him over a tree log, and fucking him in the ass.
