Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 1 October 2018

image for Kavanaugh Accuser Has Ridiculous Pythonesque Name
A sweaty nick (no sexual misconduct intended)

As yet another female accuser of Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, put her head up above the parapet over the weekend, the case took a decidedly-Pythonesque turn, when it was learned that the woman's name was Julia Swetnick.

Monty Python's Flying Circus was a British comedy group which first appeared in 1969, and achieved worldwide renown during the 1970s It featured John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman and Terry Gilliam. The sketches in the show involved characters with unrealistically-silly names, such as Mrs Niggerbaiter, Mr Creosote, Mr Brainsample, Mrs Cheap-Laugh, Mrs Concrete, Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, and Jethro Q. Walrustitty. Few of the names, however, can be said to have been as ridiculous as 'Swetnick'.

Swetnick claims she went to house parties attended by Brett Kavanaugh in the early 1980s. She also claims that Kavanaugh and his friends tried to "spike" girls' drinks. But, I mean, come on - that name!

'Swetnick', indeed, conjures up an image of perspiration oozing between her bouncing buttocks, a veritable 'profusion' of sweat beads perched on either side of her 'crack', which, had it been in the minds of playful youths such as Kavanaughty and his friends no doubt were, would explain why they might have been in such 'high spirits'.

In a couple of weeks, the whole world will probably have forgotten all about Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Deborah Ramirez, and Julia and her Sweaty Nick.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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