Written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

The Associated Press is reporting this morning that a judge in New York City has placed Harvey Wineglass in a compulsory 1-year stay at a facility in New Jersey. A protesting Wineglass was led from the courtroom shouting..."They all begged for it!"

Wineglass was incensed that he was being forced to wear a Pecker Ring (similar to a cigar band) on his penis which alerts his brain every time he has an erotic thought. Evidently, he was particularly angry that the PR rings come in sizes associated with the sizes of cigars and range frm Cigarillos to Robustos. His "ring" was publicly exposed as a Cigarillo.

The AP reports that the PR device is new technology that connects brain waves to the genitals and sends a joint message to the bowels and genitals when blood begins to engorge the penis, the resulting action being that the penis farts and starts to whistle the song..."Dixie!" The center for BangHer Management states the device, if applied over a six month period of time, has never failed to accomplish it's goal...the total emasculation of the patient.

In related news, a member of the housekeeping staff at the White House, speaking on condition of anonymity, has told the AP that strange sounds have been coming from the family quarters every night for weeks. "It sounds like someone is whistling the song "Dixie" all night!" When the AP reporter asked Melania Trump about this at her first appearance in weeks, if this rumor was true, she didn't respond but gave one of her very rare smiles and gave the journalist a mysterious...thumbs up! Bystanders noted that as she walked away, she was softly whistling...Dixie!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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