Written by rvler9201

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

NEW YORK--While updating monthly sales info on a shared Google Doc, ABM Industries employee Brooke Santos noted Tuesday that Mark Furness--that quiet guy who works in marketing--had been digitally following her throughout the spreadsheet, despite the fact that Furness did not appear to be making any changes or edits to the document.

"At first I thought we must be working on the same part of the spreadsheet, but then I realized that anything he could possibly be doing would be, like, 10 cells to the right," Santos told reporters, adding that, while she didn't know exactly what Furness did for ABM, it sure as hell didn't involve logging sales receipts.

"He isn't just idly bouncing around the document, either. I jumped to the very end of the doc and started working my way up, and wouldn't you know, there he goes, right after me," Santos noted, indicating at the cell highlighted in red with Furness' name on the border. "Lord, he must have had to have zoomed out to search for me."

While perturbed, Santos relented on confronting Furness, admitting that she plans on using him as a reference in case her boss accuses her of slacking off at some point during the week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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