Roger Ailes Takes Over The Spoof, Writers Replaced By Robots

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 12 August 2016

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Roger Ailes has purchased The Spoof in a $30,000 transaction.

Kicked out of the news organization that he founded, embattled former Fox CEO Roger Ailes has just purchased The Spoof. The disgraced Ailes bought this publication in a $30,000 deal that he hopes to use to rebuild himself as a media mogul.

Shock waves rolled through the ranks of The Spoof's writers as they worried about potential sexual harassment from their new boss. Writers also have a new quota of 12 news length stories a day to worry about or they will be replaced by robots that can write hundreds of stories a day.

One UK writer who wants to remain anonymous sees the takeover by Ailes as her winning lottery ticket.

"He's already settled in the tens of millions with other women, and he's already asking for one on one meetings with our writers, it's just a matter of time until he does something. I'm kind of cute and all of my bosses have hit on me at one time or another."

Other writers were less casual about being sexually harassed or even raped by their new boss. One Spoof writer in the US, a friend of this writer, talked about the changes at The Spoof.

"Whether they drug you, beat you, or coerce you, it's rape all the same and no cause to celebrate like it's a million dollar payday. I only wish Mark [Our former boss and publisher], bless his heart, had other alternatives to saving his family's estate other than leaving us in the hands of a monster. Well I won't meet this Ailes guy anywhere where I can't pack heat."

Ailes so far seems to have a hands off policy with this publication preferring to let Dinesh "Douchna" D'Souza run the daily operation. Along with Douchna's leadership comes another directive to Spoof writers that half of their stories should fall under these two categories: The Democrats created the KKK, and People the Clintons have murdered.

Most Spoof writers were too busy churning out their twelve daily stories to comment for this story, but this writer and others are defying Ailes and his hatchet man D'Souza, and are taking a wait and see approach.

Meanwhile the robot writers are coming up with hundreds of story ideas in an hour, here are some of the robot produced stories published in the last minute: World Ended Yesterday; Two Nukes For Every Family With A Two Bomb Garage; President Kardashian Names Algae To Cabinet; and Donald Trump's Favorite Charity--Himself.

If this story is published it means that the new boss Douchna has not yet taken control of the approval center. All future stories by this author should be suspect and will probably be written by a robot writer. Your Friend XRhonda Speaks

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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