'No Shit News' Goes On Air

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 15 April 2018


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Two NSN 'anchors' going over their scripts earlier

A brand new news station has gone 'on air' today, aiming to combat the current trend by some media companies to misreport, manipulate, or even completely fabricate 'news' to suit their own sordid political agendas.

'No Shit News' (NSN) is the idea of Don Woomskey who says that all reports are true, and, to prove this, they will be read by non-conforming, stroppy teenagers who steadfastly refuse to do anything they are told.

This policy seems to have come about as a result of the revelation that the Sinclair Media Group, which owns Fox News, produces the script for every one of its news station anchors, meaning, whichever station you are watching, you hear the same words. At NSN, claims Woomskey, this won't be the case. Woomskey:

"Nobody can tell a teenager what to do, what to say, how to act, and so forth. They like to do things their own way. Trying to cajole, to persuade or to influence them in any way is pointless, and often counterproductive. That's why we thought they would be the perfect newsreaders: if a moody, grimy, pissed-off-looking, spotty adolescent tells you there isn't a terrorist threat, then you can feel pretty safe that there isn't one."

NSN will broadcast from today on TheSpoof.com, at least.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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