Today the winners of the Worst Pun Headlines were announced. The prize is a new one, and will be given out annually by the editors of the Chaffinch St Cock Gazette, a weekly newspaper in Chaffinch St Cock.
The winner will receive nothing except the glorious embarrassment of having their headline receive extra publicity. Entries must be published in a registered newspaper or magazine and must contain a punning headline of cringeworthy character.
Third place went to a story in the Chaffinch St Cock Gazette itself about local pogo stick enthusiast Geoff Arse. Mr Arse, 38, was due to enter a pogo competition early in the morning, but wanted his mother to watch him. She often sleeps late, so he set her alarm clock especially early to ensure she would get up in time. This prompted the hilarious headline, "Wake me up before you pogo", which prompted numerous letters of complaint to the Chaffinch St Cock gazette and led to the inauguration of the pun contest.
In second place was Medieval Cookery Monthly. In February they published an article about bakery practices in the 1700s, entitled "Pie-crusts of the Jacobean". The author has reassured the awards panel that it was a pun.
The winning entry came from the Indian newspaper The Delhi Daily. In December, a group of seafood-loving Hindus shipped a bus load of jellyfish to their relatives in Punjab to help them celebrate Christmas. This allowed editors to use the appalling headline, "We Vishnu a jellyfish bus".
The pun awards will return next year.