New Girlfriends Require Breakup Fee

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Thursday, 13 July 2017

image for New Girlfriends Require Breakup Fee

New York City, NY - Women across New York City now require breakup fees before they agree to a second date. The women can demand the fee payment only if the relationship doesn't work out.

"It goes like this," said one woman who asked not to be named. "If the first date works out, like, yeah, I expect commitment. So if the guy just disappears or doesn't keep going out with me, I get a breakup fee. Then, no questions asked."

The fee begins at $250 if the breakup occurs during the first month and then $150 per month thereafter. Higher fees may be negotiated. The women require credit card authorization upfront along with a signed contract. Any woman can initiate a breakup at any time for no fee.

"It feels fair," said one young gentleman on the dating scene. "It sure beats all those phone calls, the tears, and emotional drama. Just pay your breakup fee and move on."

Under the agreement, if the boyfriend is a "deadbeat" and fails to pay, it is "game on," according to one woman. "It's happened already, the credit card is over extended because of the next girlfriend. So what did I do? Gave him a bad credit rating for one. Kept running the charge through. And then the constant phone calls and texts. Facebook and Instagram messages, pictures of him as a deadbeat posted everywhere. I had him screaming to stop. And so he paid, he paid for sure."

For more information, contact

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more