Hacked vocal fold replacement device results in arrest and possible lawsuits

Funny story written by Purple Girl

Friday, 16 June 2017

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Audio problems are bad enough when dealing with just a microphone, but what if you had your larynx replaced by a computer?

Frank Cousins was shocked that his computerized voice replacement device caused him to repeatedly utter racial slurs in public, involuntarily.

"I was walking through a predominantly Black neighborhood when all of a sudden, the word 'nigger' came out of my mouth uncontrollably, over and over. Try as I might, I couldn't make it stop," says Cousins.

That was when an angry group began to gather around and the angry mob came close to attacking Cousins. Then a police officer just happened to be passing through and noticed the disturbance.

After taking statements from members of the angry crowd, the officer hauled Cousins away in handcuffs for disorderly conduct. To no avail, Cousins tried explaining that he had an artificial implanted larynx and that it was either defective or hacked.

Forensic analysis later determined that there was unauthorized access of the device, and the charges were eventually dropped.

Cousins is considering the possibility of suing the manufacturer. "If others can hack into my implanted voice box that was implanted after the cancer surgery, then that is clearly a manufacturing defect. I had to spend a night in jail because of this device saying something I'd never say in public."

The manufacturer, Galgatron Electronics, is declining to comment on the advice of their legal counsel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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