Purple Ooze May Be Edible

Written by Purple Girl

Sunday, 11 June 2017

[PP] -- The purple substance that Andrea Sharpe found in and around her home may actually be edible. Several persons allegedly ingested the substance with no ill effects.

One of those is a 9-year-old boy whose name being withheld due to his age.

"I just wanted to see what it tasted like. Well, I liked it and ate another handful before my mother stopped me."

His mother says that after that incident, his grades improved, and she received less calls from his teachers about his conduct.

"It seems that ever since my child tasted this purple stuff, he has turned into someone else who is much better behaved. It is out of this world."

That is the sentiments of one of the researchers involved, that this purple matter may actually be from another world.

"It is too early to say, but it is possible that this substance came from outside the Earth's atmosphere," according to Theodore Johnson of the Research Center.

The town is divided on what to do about the cleanup. At a City Council meeting, several citizens discussed the idea of having the city do the cleanup. Then the purple gel could be pasteurized and sold to recoup the costs of the cleanup. Other citizens were skeptical, saying they were unsure of the safety of this purple substance.

Citizen Loren Jenkins says, "We don't even know what this stuff is or where it came from, and people are talking about eating it. This is just crazy."

The City Council is expected to make their decision in several days.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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