Mysterious Purple Ooze Covers Home

Funny story written by Purple Girl

Sunday, 11 June 2017

[PP] - For Andrea Sharpe, Wednesday was going to be like any other day. However, once she started getting out of bed, she was not quite sure what to think. She found that her house was lined inside and out with a purple substance.

"I got up out of bed, and there it was, all over my house. I nearly screamed!" exclaimed Sharpe. "It was as if I was transported into a different world. I did not know what to think."

Not knowing what else to do, she called 911, and they dispatched a hazardous materials team, along with the police department.

"When we arrived on the scene, we found Ms. Sharpe who seemed visibly shaken, and we found that her house and much of the neighborhood was covered with an unknown purple substance. We didn't know what precautions we needed to make," said Lt. Joe Kearns of the Municipal Police. "We took our time and made everyone present wear hazmat suits."

Sharpe was admitted to the local hospital and put in isolation as a precaution. Doctors believe she has nothing contagious and that this purple ooze is probably harmless. A specimen of the purple substance was sent to a university laboratory for analysis.

"We still do not know what this substance is or where it came from. It does not seem to be harmful, but we still don't know what it is," says Dr. Donald Landinghouse of Bowman Gray School of Medicine.

Police and medical experts do not know the source of the material or how it got in Sharpe's home and neighborhood. Kearns said, "We do not believe the public is in danger, and we don't believe there is any foul play involved."

Purple Press will keep you updated on this situation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more