Ryan Urges Trump to Resign

Funny story written by Philip J. Moss

Sunday, 26 March 2017

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has urged President Trump to resign, according to people close to him.

"It is much easier for our members to be the party in opposition than it is to govern," the Speaker reportedly told the President. "As the party in opposition to a democratic president, we can say anything, without being accountable. It's what enabled us to win the mid-terms and get a Republican majority in both the House and the Senate. If we have to actually govern the country, we'll fail miserably, and then lose our majorities in the next mid-terms."

The Speaker appealed to the President to put party ahead of self. "The President ran on a platform of saving jobs," he pointed out, "and if he wants to save our jobs he should resign."

Referring to his fellow members of the Republican caucus, the Speaker pointed out that none of them were capable of formulating rational policies for governing the country, and yet none of them were qualified to hold any other job. "All we know how to do is to obstruct the work of government."

Individual republicans have told this reporter privately that they are worried about finding affordable health insurance, if they lose their seats.

Asked if he would also ask Vice President Pence to resign, thus putting himself next in line for the presidency, the Speaker had no comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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