4 Million Pets Voted Illegally According To ASPCA

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

image for 4 Million Pets Voted Illegally According To ASPCA
Jaunty and Sasha voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election.

One of the largest cases of voter fraud in the history of the US has unraveled after an election worker discovered that a dog was registered to vote in his district in the 2016 elections.

The scheme came to light when Swen Hootman, an election volunteer in Taos, New Mexico, was talking to a friend who works at the Taos Valley Animal Shelter. The friend mentioned the unusual name of one of the dogs that had gone out for adoption, Jaunty Thor's Hammer Patee.

Because of the uniqueness of the name, Hootman was sure he remembered it from the absentee mail-in ballots in his district, so he alerted election officials who then contacted the ASPCA to investigate.

"You don't forget a name like Jaunty Thor's Hammer Patee," Hootman explained.

After its own investigation, the ASPCA turned over evidence to the Federal Election Commission that shows lax voter registration and ID laws in eleven states allowed as many as four million pets to fraudulently vote in the 2016 election.

Mina Pandora, an ASPCA investigator on the case, spoke to this reporter about the findings so far.

"We started with the voter rolls and crosschecked it with the database of pets registered with city and county animal control centers. We found 4 million pet names nationally that matched names on voter rolls, that doesn't even count unlicensed dogs and cats that may have still managed to register to vote."

"So these scammers registered their pets to vote by mail in states where it's still easy to register that way. Once the pets are registered, the owners request a mail in absentee ballot that they can fill out however they want, and that's how easy it is to manufacture fake votes for your candidate. In this case, 96% of the votes were for Hillary Clinton, and that pushed her ahead in the popular vote."

Democrats and Republicans are calling for a bipartisan senate investigation into these new allegations of voter fraud.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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