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Funny satire stories about pets

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Funny story: Satan Has Infiltrated PetSmart!

Satan Has Infiltrated PetSmart!

This just in: Satan, the Lord of Darkness and Ayatollah of Rock ‘N Rolla (No, that was the Lord Humongous!) has infiltrated the peace-loving PetSmart chain with its evil rainbow flags! Don’t they know the only rainbow comes from a God named either…

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Funny story: The Nation's Number One Pet Psychiatrist Makes $3 Million A Year Treating Dogs, Cats, and Hamsters

The Nation's Number One Pet Psychiatrist Makes $3 Million A Year Treating Dogs, Cats, and Hamsters

BEVERLY HILLS - (Satire News) - Dr. Emerson Otto Bixfix, 52, is regarded by many as the foremost pet psychiatrist in the entire nation. Animal Land Magazine has just named him the "Top Pet Psychiatrist In The USA." According to ALM, in his 25-y…

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Funny story: Dollar Tree In a Blockbuster Move Is Now Selling Pets!

Dollar Tree In a Blockbuster Move Is Now Selling Pets!

IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – The Nation’s #1 variety discount store chain has just hit a gold mine! Boom Boom News is reporting that the store that sells all kinds of items for $1.25 has ventured into the pet arena. And nation…

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Funny story: The List of Top 10 Pet Products That Were Quickly Axed

The List of Top 10 Pet Products That Were Quickly Axed

JOLIET, Illinois – (Satire News) – The American Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has just released a list of ten pet products that went on the market, and were almost instantly taken off the market for this reason or that. THE LIST…

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Funny story: A Very Mean Arizona Man Gets Arrested For Abusing His Pet Turtle

A Very Mean Arizona Man Gets Arrested For Abusing His Pet Turtle

TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency reports that a door-to-door flour tortilla salesman in Tombstone, has been arrested for first-degree turtle abuse. Local authorities arrested Derek Simon Sipplovax, 29, for endangering a harmle…

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Funny story: Little Lad is Unaware His Cute Face is Stopping Man From Committing an Atrocity

Little Lad is Unaware His Cute Face is Stopping Man From Committing an Atrocity

London— Unaware of his importance, Angus McGree, a local Londoner who's also a pet Guinea pig is protecting scores of innocent civilians daily, several reports confirmed Wednesday. The companionship he provides is the only thing stopping his owner, a…

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Funny story: Rabbit Isn't Looking Very Well

Rabbit Isn't Looking Very Well

A pet rabbit that gave birth to four baby rabbits a few months ago, but then had the misfortune to have all four of the kittens die on her, is looking not particularly well this morning, and may be coming down with something. The story of the birt...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Admits Cat Can Be a Little Petty

Nashville Man Admits Cat Can Be a Little Petty

"No matter what else I have going on, all she ever wants is to be snuggled and cuddled and stroked," said Wade Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his beloved feline animal companion, Ginny. "I hate to say it, but honestly, she can be a little...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Questions whether His Cat Truly Respects Him

Nashville Man Questions whether His Cat Truly Respects Him

Although Trent Harwood of Nashville, Tennessee, does his best not to take things personally, he admitted to questioning whether his cat, Sheba, truly respects him. "Sometimes I feel like she's playing with me," said Harwood of the alluring Abyssin...

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Funny story: Parrotman's Parrots Think He Is A Right Knobhead

Parrotman's Parrots Think He Is A Right Knobhead

Ted Parrotman, the man who changed his name and his appearance because he so much wanted to resemble his pet parrots, may have impressed a lot of people, but not the parrots themselves. They have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. For pe...

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Funny story: Parrotman Has Started To Squawk Like A Parrot

Parrotman Has Started To Squawk Like A Parrot

A man who, over a period of several years, underwent 'extreme body modification' in order to physically resemble his parrots, has now started to squawk like one. Ted Richards of Hartcliffe in Bristol, who subsequently changed his name to Ted Parro...

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Funny story: Man's Family Acquires Rabbit

Man's Family Acquires Rabbit

Rabbits are lovely, although a bit dimwitted, creatures, and don't always make the best pets due to their lack of interaction with their owners, but one family is celebrating their good fortune this evening after being presented with one of the lovab...

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Funny story: Omnivore Boasts that She's Not a Hypocrite for Eating Meat Because She Dislikes Dogs

Omnivore Boasts that She's Not a Hypocrite for Eating Meat Because She Dislikes Dogs

At a recent workplace luncheon, Ellen Harding of Charleston, South Carolina, lambasted her colleagues for their hypocrisy in chowing down on hot chicken and burgers while insisting how much they loved their pets. An omnivore herself, Ellen claimed th...

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Funny story: Grieving Woman Finds Difficult People Refreshing to Be Around

Grieving Woman Finds Difficult People Refreshing to Be Around

After losing her beloved feline companion of over twelve years, Sammy, Melanie Meadows of New York City could scarcely stem the tide of tears that threatened to surge from her eyes at any given moment, but soon learned, to her relief, that unpleasant...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Melanie Meadows of Nashville, Tennessee, recently took a licking from a relentless black cat named Sammy. "He was unstoppable," said Meadows of the panther-like feline who slunk up unnoticed as she stepped out of the shower early one morning. "And...

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Funny story: Missing Dog Flyer Goes Completely Ignored

Missing Dog Flyer Goes Completely Ignored

When 8 year old Timmy Hutchins posted a flyer of his missing dog, a wiry-haired Border Terrier by the name of Bandit, he was filled with hope that his best friend would eventually return to him. Six weeks and three days later, the flyer that hangs fr...

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Funny story: Laughter-Loving Hog Encounters More than He Bargained for at Neighborhood Pig “Roast”

Laughter-Loving Hog Encounters More than He Bargained for at Neighborhood Pig “Roast”

Good-humored hog Hank Daniel of Nashville, Tennessee, a lover of a raucous, in-your-face comedy who prides himself on being able to both dish it out and take it, was intrigued when he learned of a pig “roast” to be held the following Saturday afterno...

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