NORAD's Ability To Track Santa In Doubt

Written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 10 November 2016

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As the holiday season approaches, Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reiley will, as usual, warn Americans about the "secular progressive" war on Christmas. O'Reiley, on his program "The O'Reiley Factor, has charged that the secular left wants to ignore traditions of America and build a more inconclusive nation where Judeo-Christian philosophy is tamped down.

Yesterday on Fox, O' Reilly said that "We are all aware that NORAD Tracks Santa is an annual Christmas-themed entertainment program, which has existed since 1955,[1] produced under the auspices of the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD). Every year on Christmas Eve, "NORAD Tracks Santa" purports to track Santa Claus as he leaves the North Pole and delivers presents to children around the world."

"But The Factor has exclusively learned that there is a left-wing conspiracy to stop Norad from tracking Santa. We have heard from reliable sources that a shadowy group of humanists and atheists are working with hackers and various kids of technicians to shut down NORAD computers upon which the tracking of Santa depends to communicate with the public."

Santa could not be reached for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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