Donald Trump Calls Out Voter Fraud, Loses Support with Dead People

Funny story written by Andrewnino12

Friday, 21 October 2016

"People that have died 10 years ago are still voting," Trump said on Monday during a speech in Wisconsin, "Bruce Willis, Sean Bean, these guys have been dead for years and they're still out there voting. I prefer my action movie heroes to remain perished."

The Republican Presidential candidate has been ramping up his efforts to combat voter fraud as of late, claiming the system is filled with illegal immigrants and the deceased who are going to decide the election.

"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're coming in hearses. They're filling up our cemeteries. And some, I assume, have been cremated."

He also took the time to urge the terminally ill to vote for him with their last dying breath and detailed his plan to secure their vote.

"I don't care how sick you are," he said in Henderson, Nevada, "We're going to build a wall at the pearly gates of heaven to keep the liberals out."

Secretary Clinton on the other hand wasn't afraid to acknowledge her strong voter base and made this evident in Wednesday's debate.

"I've had the rotting corpse vote for years and I'm not afraid to admit it. George Washington, Harambe, Chivalry, these are just three of the great dead individuals who have endorsed me for President and will be voting for me this November, and every November in the foreseeable future."

Trump continued stirring up commotion during the debate when he suggested that he wouldn't concede the election should his opponent come out on top on election day.

"I'll keep you in suspense, okay? If it comes right down to the wire you'll have to pry this nomination from my cold, tiny, lifeless hands which you shouldn't be surprised to see voting Democrat straight down the ballot."

Social media has since gone into a frenzy defending the deceased's right to vote with the hashtag "Nobody'sLifeMatters."

"You don't need a resting heart rate above 25 to make a difference in this country," reanimated cadaver Ben Carson explained, "As a brain surgeon I self-diagnosed myself as being brain dead years ago but I can't wait to get out and vote again this November. Isn't democracy fun!?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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