Written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 1 September 2016

image for Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America
HAPPY IN BERMUDA

Head of Pharmaceutical multinational giant, Savage Drugs, Inc., Michael Portfolio, praised the United States today as "the indispensable nation, a model for humanity because it is the last bastion of freedom and liberty."

He pointed out that his drug company made more money in the U.S. than the rest of the world combined. "This is because, unlike any other developed country in the world, the U.S. allows drug companies to set their own prices," he explained.

In America there are no restrictions on drug prices and little transparency over how and why drug prices go up. Portfolio stated, "Even with government sponsored programs like Obama care the U.S. government can't negotiate prices with the pharmaceuticals."

"I love America. Freedom and free enterprise are equated, which allows the multinationals to exercise the sovereignty of a nation-state within U.S. borders. And, we're free to buy and sell politicians there." He broke into song, "Oh, freedom, oh freedom, no more regulations over me!"

He stated, "You know free enterprise or unregulated capitalism really does provide liberty. Take a look at my business. Two years ago our drug for gallstone treatment, ursodiol, was priced at 46 cents a pill. Now its $5.10 per capsule. It's a generic drug with eight drug companies who supply it. With that supposed competition you'd expect the price to go down."

"Hell, there aren't research costs involved because it's been on made for years. So what's going on? Well, it's American freedom. It's the shining city on the hill! It's Ronnie Reagan! The man with the jaunty person, the self-assured smile! God how he loved freedom!," smirked Portfolio.

"See, there used to be enforcement of anti-monopoly, price collusion laws but Ronnie actually said, 'What we're going to do now is we're going to allow people to concentrate power because it's going to be more efficient and it's going to help the consumer in this country.' Sure! Porfolio broke into song again, 'Oh, freedom, Oh freedom, no more taxes over me!'"

When I asked Portfolio why he didn't live in the U.S. if it was the land of the free, the indispensible nation, he replied, "What and leave my offshore tax haven here in Bermuda!"

Meanwhile, Americans watch TV programs with numerous ads for drugs. The ads promise happiness, enable healthy or recreational activities, an enhanced social approval, and a happy sex life. Always smiling characters, using people in an intimate encounter, suggestive body language, and using fantasy appeals-depicting unrealistic or a surreal scene accomplishes are part of the picture.

The ads are all tested on focus groups, they use depth interviews and projective techniques. If the ads don't result in an increase in drug sales they are scrapped for more effective presentations.

By the time they are eight years old, American children have watched several thousand of these drug ads and are "branded," much like cattle, to identify with particular drugs, which they will use when they become older.

"Oh Freedom, Oh freedom, a free nation over me. Our profits rise and soar, our money is offshore, Oh free nation over me," sang Michael Portfolio at the end of our interview.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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