Green Candidate Stein Tells The Truth, Enrages Corporate Media

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 26 August 2016

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Jill Stein, Green Party Candidate for the Presidency, has caused an uproar among executives as MSNBX after she appeared on "Mourning Joe." Stein pointed out that 64% of discretionary spending in the federal budget goes to the U.S. military, and their share of the budget keeps growing. Looking into the camera Stein told the viewers, "Half of your taxes go to support the U.S. failed military policy of regime change."

She condemned what she called the "U.S. Empire which has over 700 military bases abroad. The rest of the world combined has only 30 overseas bases," she pointed out.

Stein also attacked the Clinton Foundation because it has accepted millions from war contractors and she alleged that, "The U.S. is the arms supplier to the world and when Hillary was the head at State she was in charge of seeing who got the weapons abroad."

As background, U.S.American arms exports made up a full third of the global trade last year amounting to $36.2 billion. Over the last five years, the US sold "major" weapons to at least 96 countries, half of the countries in the world. When Clinton was secretary of State she approved $151 billion worth of Pentagon-brokered arms deals to 16 countries that contributed to the Clinton Foundation.

The sales boosted the military power of oppressive, authoritarian regimes such as Qatar, Algeria, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, and Oman, which, like Saudi Arabia, had been criticized by the state department for human rights abuses, particularly treatment of women.

"Both the democrats and the republicans are wholly owned subsidiaries of the pentagon," said candidate Stein. A good-looking woman with an M.D., her crisp, intelligent responses to Scarface's questions make him look confused.

But MSNBX is owned by General Power Electric, corporation (GPE) that produces military hardware and spends millions supporting democratic and republican candidates who want huge milltary expenditures, which is almost everyone because campaign contributions from the war machine are so huge.

An insider told this reporter that GPE executives were confused as to what to do about Stein being on "Mourning Joe ,"which is co-hosted by conservative republican Joe Scarface and the somewhat liberal Mika Brzezinskichevnoki, the daughter of a former Secretary of War in the Carter administration.

Reportedly, one of the GPE executives said to a subordinate, "What the hell is that Jill Stein doing on my TV network. The truth doesn't belong on TV; nobody else has it, certainly not CNN, Fox, or the Sunday shows. Stein is authentic, we can't have her bringing reality to TV. She might get a lot of support," he said.

Reportedly, one of the GPE brass said, "We got rid of that commie Bill Press and that troublemaker trouble making sports guy turned liberal political commentator what's-his-name but we can't fire Scarface. He's a reliable con guy. And Mika doesn't book people for the show."

"They have to go," supposedly replied another executive. We'll let the loudmouth Tweetie Bird Matthews take over. He's center-right and doesn't book our enemies. Hell, he got Michelle Bachman's career started on his program."

Ellen Surcharge one of the brass at GPE, in charge of overseeing content on MSNBX, received phone calls from outraged executives at other network stations.

My source told me that one told Surcharge, "Over here at my shop, we have all kinds of sponsors from the military-industrial-complex, ranging from Boringjet to fragmentation bomb makers."

"You guys trying to destroy our business? I don't want to ever hear of that Greenie Stein bringing truth to people, appearing on any of your shows ever again. Hell, you'll destroy the economies of a whole hell of a lot of American cities that are dependent upon war. We can't have the American people wising up to the fact we have a military empire," said the network chief.

Stein has not been seen on network TV since the Mourning Joe show.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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