Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Saturday, 6 August 2016

image for Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue
Hillary Clinton shot this young woman after reacting to the sound of the click shifter on her bike.

While Donald Trump mesmerized the media and the public with his crazy antics, Hillary Clinton was the one to actually shoot someone on New York's Fifth Avenue.

It all unfolded as Clinton was shopping before a political rally on New York's famous Fifth Avenue: as Clinton walked out of Gucci, a passing bicyclist happened to shift gears on her bike and Clinton and several of her Secret Service guards reacted to the sound of the bike's click shifter and turned to look towards the street.

But even before the Secret Service detail could shield Clinton from any potential harm, the presidential candidate had already drawn and fired on the teen, hitting the bicycle rider in the arm. Witnesses did not see where Clinton got the firearm from, but she handed it to one of the Secret Service agents once it was determined that the young woman was not a threat.

The teenage bicycle messenger, who goes by Jane Boy, was shouting profanities and screaming in pain after being shot. While Clinton's medical detail attended to her injury, one Secret Service agent was heard asking the teen "Why did you make that sound, do you have any weapons?"

It took a few minutes for Clinton and her bodyguards to realize that what they had actually heard was the teen shifting gears on her bike.

The Clinton campaign is footing the medical bills for Boy, which could be substantial as the teen heads for reconstructive surgery in her arm.

Jane Boy has now been recruited to appear in public service announcements highlighting the dangers of click shifters on bicycles at night and in high crime areas.

The shooting hasn't hurt Clinton with her supporters, this reporter spoke to people at a rally a few days later in Philadelphia. Angela Cushing said she knows why some want to criticize Clinton for the shooting.

"It's because she's a woman, duh! If a man had done what she has done, everyone would be making comparisons to a Clint Eastwood character, they'd be saying, 'good reaction time,' 'great shot.'"

Speaking at a rally in Dallas, Trump tried to one-up the Hill Dog after she stole his thunder.

"I had the idea first to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue, heartless Hillary actually shot someone, she didn't have to, it was just to take my idea. Well, when I get tactical nukes on my jet, I'll bet I could nuke Iran or Syria and everyone will say I'm a hero."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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