Leaked Trump Acceptance Speech Includes 'I Was Only Kidding'

Funny story written by GProwler

Monday, 18 July 2016

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In a stunning campaign breach parts of the acceptance speech Donald Trump is scheduled to give at the Republican National Convention were leaked to the press. It includes phrases such as 'listen, I was only kidding' and "if elected I don't plan on living in Washington, it's nowhere" as well as other startling comments the candidate reportedly made.

A spokesperson for the presumed nominee denied that the quotes were from his speech. "No one in this office knows what he will say when he gets in front of an audience. If you've been following the campaign you'd know Mr. Trump often has no idea what he's going to say until after he says it."

The source who provided the excerpts is a high-ranking member of the Republican National Committee. The speech and other remarks were said to come from a meeting held at the office of Jared Kushner, Mr. Trump's son in law, who is considered one of his closest advisors.

Among other comments Mr. Trump is reported to have said include "please, am I the only one who gets the joke', "if I get elected the first thing I'm gonna do is put my face on a thousand dollar bill" and "I can't believe they (the voters) ate the whole thing."

When asked about the leaks Mr. Trump told the reporter she was too fat.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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