Judicial Branch Implodes over Bias Issue

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

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Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas asked no questions regarding about the recent scandal.

Washington, DC: Hundreds of judges resigned today and more resignations are expected amid recent bias claims by U.S. Presidential candidate Donald Trump. At press time, seventy judges of Mexican heritage have already resigned, and other judges who are children and grandchildren of immigrants have followed suit. As many as 2,135 of the approximate 3,300 federal judges across the nation appear to be included on Trump's hit list and are expected to resign.

As a result, the nation's judiciary branch is imploding, leaving the executive and legislative branch without their key check and balance.

Trump's claims have uncovered a scandal among judges who have heard cases involving openly declared Republicans. With Trump now at the helm, it has become clear that Republicans are against immigration and immigrants generally, and each judge's close association with immigrants, due to family heritage, precludes the judges from being impartial, as required by their oath.

The scandal has reached the highest court. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is expected to resign soon, opening yet another prospective appointment for President Obama. Sotomayor is rumored to have acknowledged her inherent bias due to her Latino heritage and is concerned about public outcry. Sotomayor's parents were Puerto Rican.

Trump's list is akin to the blacklist put forward by Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s. McCarthy's list targeted communists, many of whom were in the entertainment industry.

Also on the list are those judges who do not identify themselves as Christians, including several Muslims, Jewish judges and atheists, as they too may be biased against Republican plaintiffs or defendants. The Republican party's platform over the past two decades has embraced the Christian coalition. Also targeted are judges who are members of the LGBT community.

Each judge qualifies for annual pension payouts equal to their salaries.

Trump was rumored to have said, "This isn't about Trump University anymore. Judge Gonzalo Curiel was a disgrace, and he was just the tip of the iceberg. Just look at this list. Bias against me just because of my political beliefs is wrong, just plain wrong."

While a few notable Republicans showed some concern about Trump's list, none went so far as to revoke their endorsement for Trump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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